First place, gold medal
On the podium I stand
Dreams, not real life?
By Mara A.
This poem is an example of a haiku. A haiku is a popular form of Japanese verse written in seventeen syllables divided into three lines of five, seven, and five syllables. While many haikus are about a particular season, they can also be about any topic, but usually bring a twist to the poem in the last line. This poem is about the many athletes that dream of competing in the olympics, and striking gold their entire lives, but are stopped in their tracks as many obstacles and hardships intervene with their lives. Unfortunately, most athletes remain with this dream their whole lives, as few can turn a dream into reality and make it all the way to the olympics. This poem ties into my theme (the olympics) as there are many olympic hopefuls in the world who inspire young children to push themselves to become the best they are at everything, and show them that even if the journey to their ultimate goal may prove to be harder than others', no one should ever give up on their dreams, because who knows, one day it might just happen.
As an athlete myself, i understand the hope and determination that is required to get to the top and win that gold medal. I like how you chose to ask a question at the end of your haiku, i haven't seen that done before.
ReplyDeleteGood Job
Great poem! This relates very well with your theme and I like how it has a nice twist at the end. Also, isn't the last line containing only 4 syllables? Anyways, great job!
ReplyDeleteI really like this haiku. I especially like how you ended it with a question mark - instead of the usual, 'oh my gosh i won a medal!'type of idea, you have managed to capture the feeling of "what, is this real?" type of reaction on the podium.
ReplyDeleteGreat job, Mara!
Great haiku! I really like the way you are able to send such a powerful message while still conforming to the boundaries set by the haiku. You managed to bring the other, often not exposed side of the olympics, the side experienced by those not winning. Very interesting!
ReplyDeletevery cute mara
ReplyDeletei love how you caught the emotion of an aspiring athlete in this short haiku
I also like the way you portrayed the feelings in a light and "oh-well" kind of matter, as if this dream was something that had been reoccuring.
I think a haiku for this message is very appropriate. It captures the stillness of the moment of glory of the winning athlete. Also very unique approach to the ending with the question. Great job!
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